Shannon (shockwave) wrote,

'Cuz spring is all about rebirth...

I have survived the winter.

It was no easy feat, just like last winter, although last winter was worse. This year seemed to be more anxiety-based depression, rather than last year's just plain depression.

But I survived. Though recently I've become rather introspective. I kept on feeling this need to have real conversations with people. Be honest and talk about life and emotions and all that good stuff. I really felt like that was missing in my life, those all night chats with people where you connect and reconnect with the person, making you closer to each other. I talked with some friends about this and they agreed, that we don't connect with people as well as when we were in college. People don't have the time and/or energy. Or they struggle to be open-minded, which is what brought me to another issue: I don't like talking about my problems, mainly because I was discouraged from it a few years ago during a tumultuous time in my life (I might save that for another post). When I figured this out and decided to talk more, things felt better. I talked to a couple of people about some things that had been bothering me, and the world didn't end.

Other things going on:
-I find it's funny how things work out sometimes. Last summer, I was caught in some drama within a social circle when a jealous bitch tried to get in the way of me having a friendship with the guy she was interested in (let it be known that I absolutely HATE that kind of thing). I didn't want to lose his friendship, but she kept on scaring off not just me, but any female who approached him. I cut out for a while. When she left for grad school, he kicked her friendship to the curb. In the following months, we have not only become closer, he is becoming my best friend and I find it to be quite nice.
-I have a habit of finding the most random social circles and being adopted by them. I started doing trivia with a group of people in December, which is definitely the craziest team I've ever been on. Over the past couple of months, these crazies have kept me sane, not just with trivia, but in the random mischief we get into on a regular basis.
-I feel like I need to meditate more to keep my mind quiet. I've starting enjoying the peacefulness of nature again. A seven-mile hike through Thatcher Park will do that to you.
-After 6 years of having a Saturday shift at my job, the company has decided to change things. My site is now closed on Saturdays, which means that I have Saturdays off. Plus I'm allowed to transfer my Saturday shift to Thursday (my regular day off) and get out at 1:30 on Thursday afternoons. For the past year or so I've been hoping that this exact thing would happen! And it came true! Which means I can do all the crazy things I've always wanted to do without planning ahead! Troy Farmer's Market, morning exercise classes, brunch, festivals, sleeping in when I want to, random road trips without planning, just taking off for the weekend and going somewhere. It's almost overwhelming. Whenever I think about it, another thing that I can do pops into my head and I get excited that I can just go.

I don't know what else to write about. I kinda don't want to be too optimistic about the spring and this coming summer, but it seems like some things are evening themselves out. Hopefully I can get the other parts of my life straight also.
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